Oh, Chavez! (Fridays on ABC)

Mis bolas. Aspírelas.

Look, I wanted you guys to vote for the red, sexy book. See? Red book, I’m dictator for life, but it’s sexy. I wrote a sexy number right on the cover! But no, you wanted the blue book. To go with your blue balls, mi amigo. Yes. OH, YES, I went there. You can’t aspire to be dictator-for-life, without going there, mi amigo.