21st Century Digital Boy

January 9, 2008

Giuliani bellyfeels blackwhite goodthought, declares crimethink doubleplus ungood

Filed under: HATE HATE HATE, Politics — 21cdb @ 9:57 am

“What we don’t see is that freedom is not a concept in which people can do anything they want, be anything they can be,” he said at the forum, sponsored by The New York Post. “Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do.”

(source)

He later added that Oceania has has always been at war with Eastasia.

January 3, 2008

Visibone: it’s called a Mac, have you heard of it?

Filed under: HATE HATE HATE, The Web — 21cdb @ 11:31 am

Visibone makes neat charts for people who do HTML and related things.

I thought it would be neat to ask TEH BOZZ for one. Then I saw this.

IE, Netscape, and Opera. Not to disparage the fine folks at Opera, but come on. Webkit, have you friggin heard of it? Netscape, for fuck’s sake? That they just killed?

Way to lead, Visibone. Way to lead.

December 27, 2007

2 steps forward, 4 steps back: stumbling towards silly season

Filed under: HATE HATE HATE, Tech — 21cdb @ 3:05 pm

We recently changed HR/benefits companies, from a nationally-known brand to a local/regional one. This is mostly uninteresting, except if they dick us over (something that happened roughly every 8 seconds with the old one) the people responsible are just down the street, instead of elsewhere in the great wide world.

Anyway, one of the supposedly awesome things about this new company is that everything - EVERYTHING! - is stored in the cloud. Need to make any changes to anything WRT your HR “file”? Don’t pick up that phone - log in! Use the Web, it’s fantastic! We won’t even get a paystub - it’ll be downloadable online!

So today I tried just that. Here are the first 2 impressions the service made:

1. MSIE is the only supported browser. Gecko (all flavors) and WebKit (all flavors) are not supported.
2. The “Your browser is not supported” page it redirects you to is 404.

I can’t go any farther, even with a copy of Parallels handy, because my account isn’t set up yet (but I am technically required to be filing my time in the online timesheet app).

I really can’t understand building an app that won’t work at all in anything but IE, marketshare be damned: Firefox is no longer a bit player on the Web. Favoring IE, fine; but IE only? Is that even remotely sensible?

If their “web site” is a means to deliver binary artifacts over port 443, then we will be having words. I fear the binary artifact future; quite the silly season it will be, and we should be working hard to smash it to pieces.

December 19, 2007

Today in “Easy answers to CNN’s stupid questions”

Filed under: HAHAHA, HATE HATE HATE — 21cdb @ 4:23 pm

Today CNN brings us this real brain-teaser, “How do you talk to kids about Britney’s sister?

Oh come on.

“Do the opposite of whatever they do. The end.”

Why do we even need to have this conversation? It wasn’t like you had to talk to your kids about showing your vagina publicly.

November 29, 2007

Quit being such a pussy

Filed under: HATE HATE HATE — 21cdb @ 1:17 pm

Valleywag quotes some VC blogger:

I am afraid to upgrade to Leopard because it might brick my MacBook.

WAAAAAH, drop a hundred bucks on a FireWire drive and Super Duper, or $150 for same + a local geek to back up your shit. A VC can’t get together the scratch to hire a local geek to manage his shit, a process taking (no lie) no more than an hour?Same advice applies to Windows and Linux and every goddamn thing else: BACK UP YOUR FUCKING DATA BEFORE DOING SHIT. Apple had to install a fucking backup program as part of the operating system to convince people this is a good idea, and it still hasn’t gotten onto the radar screen of the thickies yet.

Also we’re still running our business on Tiger, is there something absolutely mission critical about Leopard, or just a case of e-penis envy?

I have a brand new iPhone sitting right next to me on my desk that I can’t figure out how to unlock and jailbreak now that it comes preloaded with 1.1.2 firmware.

WAAAAAH I can’t figure out how to do unsupported hacks on my phone; and apparently I can’t go to Google, type in “1.1.2 jailbreak” and hit “I’m Feeling Lucky”, cause that totally doesn’t take you to a TUAW post covering all the details.

But anyway, if you can’t use an iPhone without cracking it open and gluing in unsupported pieces of kit, go buy a Treo or a Blackberry. That’s like saying, “I bought a Honda FIT and now I can’t tow my horse trailer”. Well NO SHIT, it does what it says RIGHT THERE ON THE TIN.

Here’s all you need to fix your problems.

November 10, 2007

Ruminations on Travel, part one of a series

Filed under: HATE HATE HATE — 21cdb @ 2:51 pm

It occurred to me that all the changes made to the air travel process - all of them, 100% - are entirely reactive (I don’t fly all that often). The TSA has not, to the best of my knowledge, made a single change to the air travel process in a preemptive manner. Not once has it done anything to make air travel safer, except in the sense that you may now no longer attempt to do things on planes that have already been tried and in most cases, didn’t work (eg the War On Liquid).

Essentially what we created was a faux police force whose job is to wait for something horrible to happen, then ensure that it might not happen again. It apparently has no mandate to prevent anything, which is I guess why we invaded Iraq.

But the best part is that no one - no one at all - gives a shit. If anyone did give a shit, the TSA and its army of bored, underinformed luggage checkers, would be required to work for a living. (There was a time when Republicans would not stand for this shit, before they all became petulant cowards who masturbate to the thought of a giant bureaucracy complete with cradle-to-grave care)

The only people that do give a shit don’t matter, because they will be instantly (if not violently) shouted down as terrorist supporters. You are not allowed to stand up and demand this atrocity be fixed.

October 10, 2007

You WILL RESPECT my AUTHORITAH!

Filed under: Depression, HATE HATE HATE, Personal — 21cdb @ 10:45 am

Right now work is severely hit-and-miss. A particular customer is causing a series of problems.

Generally, they’re demanding more of me than I feel is right. Put another way, I am held to be their bitch.

There is a long, dreary backstory that I will omit. Suffice it to say, we cannot truly rein them in without becoming aggressively hostile; which we’ve already started planning, but these things take time.

This comes down to ego, though. They are crossing a line, to be sure; but that line is created and maintained entirely by my planet-sized ego. I know it unfair (foolish, immature, stupid, whatever) to bitch about moan about being forced, at times, to do things generally held to be beneath you, at your job; but at the same time, there’s a fuckin’ limit.

They are a very large customer upon whose monthly income we depend, so it’s hard to say “GFY” (where by “hard” I mean “impossible in a practical sense, and stupid in any sense”). We have customers we would fire, save for our own laziness; we can’t afford to let these guys go.

So I continue to be treated like a fucking intern, on call to serve my master. The daily laundry-list of menial intern jobs grows. (It should be noted: they had us hire them an intern, who they then ‘fired’ - by which I mean, broke their contractual obligation - so that I would be responsible for these tasks).

Most annoying is we just don’t know how to effectively cope. We’re a small company; putting my kneepads on daily for these guys is bad in the sense it only helps today and not next year, which is how small companies stay small.

August 30, 2007

TRANSLATION OF SELECTED PORTIONS OF THE BURNING MAN ‘I DID IT’ LETTER FROM HIPSTER TO ENGLISH

Filed under: HATE HATE HATE, The World — 21cdb @ 5:03 pm

Short Version: “HAHAHAHA MY BURNING MAN ART PROJECT GOT WAY MORE PRESS THAN YOURS”

Slightly Longer Version: “I did this to point out that you’re all poseurs, lamers, and noobs who come here to fuck and do drugs and pretend to be hip before you go back to your mundane lives. But in doing so, I’m sort of being elitist for elitist sake, this watering down my point, and making everyone who was at this Burning Man ‘part of the club’ cause now all the lamers and noobs can say, ‘we were there at the arson!’, so all I’ve done is give the lamers the keys to the kingdom and invite said poseurs to imitate my shit. Also haha, my art project got way more press than yours, you rivethead wannabe douchebags.”

(Source)
and apologies to the translation of …. people who are far better at it than I.

August 21, 2007

Words not to use around me (an ongoing series)

Filed under: HATE HATE HATE — 21cdb @ 2:51 pm

“Bacn”

I reserve the right to cockpunch anyone who uses this term around me, in any kind of non-mocking manner.

July 6, 2007

YOU WILL SUBMIT TO IPHONE

Filed under: HATE HATE HATE — 21cdb @ 12:58 pm

iPhone mania is so intense in the blogosphere that you get to blog about sitting in your own filth for 3 days to get one, then, you get to blog about returning it.

That’s just fucking remarkable. I really should blog about the various random crap my wife buys and then returns. Perhaps I will be propelled to fame and/or fortune.

Your search - “weird fuckin’ metal thing” - did not match any documents.

2 birds, one stone, go fuck yourself.

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