Write a stern letter to the Caliph demanding recompense

Can someone please explain this to me? Please? In your explanation please include material as to why this isn’t complete and total dumbfuckery.

Near as I can tell, it goes like this:

1. Ottoman Empire kills Armenians. Lots and lots of Armenians.
2. Ottoman Empire falls, Ataturk founds the modern secular nation of Turkey, its founding principles entirely opposite from the Ottoman Empire.
3. 70-something years later, we decide to call the Turks assholes for what the Ottomans did, esp. considering there’s probably no one alive (or, very very few at any rate) who committed the crimes, or shit, even witnessed them. Ostensibly this is acceptable because, an Ottoman (as in “citizen of the Ottoman Empire”) was/is a Turk (as in “ethnically of or related to the peoples that live in and around the modern nation of Turkey”).

Am I close? Boner’s right: let the historians debate the label, leave shit from 70 years ago (and OF ANOTHER GOVERNMENT ENTIRELY) out of today’s foreign policy decisions.

And all ya’ll motherfuckers didn’t want him to speak

Everyone was so dead-set on him speaking, but oh, the gems:

Asked about widely documented government abuse of women and homosexuals in his country, Ahmadinejad said, “We don’t have homosexuals” in Iran, and that women did have freedoms.

It used to be that people with extreme (read: TOTALLY FUCKIN NUTS) views were encouraged to speak freely, cause all you end up doing is making them look that much more nuts.

Maybe it doesn’t suit the script, because it makes him sound just plain fuckin’ crazy nuts (thus, pitiable) instead of Hitler-like evil who needs to be bombed RIGHT FUCKING OMG NOW NOW NOW NOW, but I for one like having him speak. Kooks should be forced out into the light: after all vermin fear the dark.

Once more for the dumbfucks in the back: only stupid or guilty people even GET set up

OK, once more, “Life 101″, for the dumb shits who don’t get it:

Alexander told King Monday: “It’s very obvious that Thomas Riccio had intentions to set O.J. up, and that’s what happened.”

(Source)

Yes, yes, you’re right. All that “no one leaves” and “you think you can steal my shit”, totally set up.

So, do you know what normal people do when someone steals their shit? They go to the police. They made a case.

There’s a reason I have never been set up in some sort of sports memorabilia theft, and there’s a reason I haven’t been caught in an airport bathroom trying to have gay sex (wide stance notwithstanding): I don’t do these things.

Ok maybe the guy knew OJ would be a total fucking psychopath and charge in and be a dick, so he brought along the tape recorder. Fine, whatever. Allowing yourself to be baited like that just makes it worse: you’re an easily manipulated tool.

So let’s once again allow this fucking has-been jock jackass to capture our national attention, and stop focusing on the war, the impending one with Iran, Hil’s bullshit health care plan, and whatever else actually matters. Thanks, “liberal” media!

More on hypercubes

bOINGbOING pointed to this explanation of a 4th-dimensional hypercube - a tesseract. Not bad. For the real mojo, go here. Sagan was awesome at explaining this stuff, and as an extra, added bonus, he’s probably stoned out of his fucking mind.

And now, your daily dose of reality

So apparently, the drumbeat for war with Iran has officially started.

Of course, this has been an open secret for many, many months. But now - assuming the statements above are true - it’s moving from sabre-rattling to a media campaign. Once the appropriate consent has been manufactured, start.

But at least there’s no hope: there’s nothing, at all, you can do to stop it, short of sedition or something.

Why? Oh, the usual reasons.
1. A dedicated group - aka, “the base” - who aggressively desire war with anyone and everyone, esp. if said group happens to live in or around the Holy Land, thus potentially triggering the return of their imaginary friend.
2. A second dedicated group, who refuse to vote for the opposition party, and instead continue to vote for the people sounding the drums of war. This group, aka, “the fearful”, refuse to help enact change in the political system because the alternative is, in normal circumstances, distasteful; and looking around them, right now, they see only status quo. (In other words they, like many people, have a stupid belief in the political system)
3. The American people are easily swayed by good media campaigns, cannot work out where Iran is on a map, don’t understand what a “mullah” is, and have lived in mortal fear since 2001 per Republican party policy (and aided by Democrat complacence).

So between the loons, the 101st Chairborne, and the dimwits, all the protests in the world mean nothing. There is no economic power, no political power, no social power, that you can use to stop this.

Well, wait: there is one thing. Democratic party leadership can get up and say, outright, “Mister President and Vice President, we will not allow you to start a war with Iran” and take appropriate action at all times. But they won’t, so it’s no worry. They’re utterly spineless. They’ll authorize nukes in Tehran tomorrow if it means not being called a “liberal appeaser” on Fox News.

But hey: go right on ahead thinking your vote and opinion matters. Also go right on ahead supporting those “opposition” Democrats, you know, the ones who voted for Iraq.

TRANSLATION OF SELECTED PORTIONS OF THE BURNING MAN ‘I DID IT’ LETTER FROM HIPSTER TO ENGLISH

Short Version: “HAHAHAHA MY BURNING MAN ART PROJECT GOT WAY MORE PRESS THAN YOURS”

Slightly Longer Version: “I did this to point out that you’re all poseurs, lamers, and noobs who come here to fuck and do drugs and pretend to be hip before you go back to your mundane lives. But in doing so, I’m sort of being elitist for elitist sake, this watering down my point, and making everyone who was at this Burning Man ‘part of the club’ cause now all the lamers and noobs can say, ‘we were there at the arson!’, so all I’ve done is give the lamers the keys to the kingdom and invite said poseurs to imitate my shit. Also haha, my art project got way more press than yours, you rivethead wannabe douchebags.”

(Source)
and apologies to the translation of …. people who are far better at it than I.

Pay close attention, kids of America

The 50/50 Iraq “progress report” is a “cause for optimism”. So the next time you get a 50 on a test, refuse to accept such a poor report as reason to worry: a bright future is ahead of you!

We are well and truly doomed

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/30/science/30profile.html?ex=1183780800&en=e3760aa7d1b5022a&ei=5070

Dr. Miller’s data reveal some yawning gaps in basic knowledge. American adults in general do not understand what molecules are (other than that they are really small). Fewer than a third can identify DNA as a key to heredity. Only about 10 percent know what radiation is. One adult American in five thinks the Sun revolves around the Earth, an idea science had abandoned by the 17th century.

That explains a lot. Like, “The Republican Party post-Reagan”, “Red States”, and so on. (Also I think not knowing the earth revolves around the sun should exempt you from being allowed to vote at all, but that’s just me.)

Today’s award for creative use of “including”

Pentagon shreds F-14s to keep parts from enemies:

The Pentagon fears that if the surplus jets aren’t destroyed, they could fall into the wrong hands, including Iran’s.

Well, according to Wikipedia, exactly one other nation uses the F14 Tomcat: “As of 2007, it remains in service only with the Islamic Republic of Iran Air Force.” (If I wasn’t amazingly lazy, I’d check Janes or Defensetech, but I’m pretty sure my memory is right on this one)

So who else’s hands would benefit from the spares? I’m guessing, none. Fighter aircraft are not laden with generic fiddly bits.

Can we just fucking start World War III with them and get it over with? This slow-burn Gulf of Tonkin shit is getting old and boring, fast. Good to see the media is right back on board with the adminstration, though.

We hate Israel and the United States but we’re big fans of Colt and IMI

Palestinian fighters, left to right:

M4-pattern, Galil, M16A2 (I think), M16A1 w/ A2 handguards (at least it looks like the old rear sight), M16 of unknown type

So we hate the West, Israel, and America, but yay for Colt and IMI.

Image from CNN.com.